It's Harder to Blog When Life is Good

Editor's Note: Each week this month, we're featuring a response to one of the BlogHer Writing Lab prompts. Want to be inspired by writing prompts? They're posted at the beginning of every month in the Writing Lab. Want to be the next featured writer? Join the Writing Lab's Facebook group and look for the Pitch Please call for posts. --Mel

Today's Prompt: Do you find it difficult to tell your story?

In late 2004, I started my first blog, Confessions of a Grad School Slave. I was in my first year of a grueling PhD program, and in a fit of frustration, I decided to chronicle my experience. I signed up on Blogger and began posting about the trials of graduate school life. Many of my early posts read like a journal entry, recounting an experience that frustrated me or venting my annoyances with graduate school.

For years, my blog was solely for me. I never put much effort into branding or publicizing my blog. It was simply my outlet for sharing my story. I treated blogging like journaling, and I wrote only when I felt the motivation or when I had a compelling topic on my mind.

Most of those topics dealt with the difficulty in my life, and the issues I faced in my career or my personal life. I've devoted dozens of posts to my struggles in my career and my pursuit of a career that I enjoyed.

Even more posts were on the subject of my love life – the various dates, the different boyfriends, my fears that I'd end up never married and bitter. My blog was the place where I was vulnerable, where I would work through my fears, my worries and my desires. I also shared my triumphs, like a new job or a new relationship that was going well, but those posts were not as frequent.

After ten years of blogging, I found myself writing less and less, though I still had much to share. I'd come a long way from the broke PhD student who vented about the stress of graduated school. Now I was in a new career, which I enjoyed.

I also started a new relationship, and for the first time, I felt that I'd met the person I was meant to be with forever. I loved the city I had moved to and I had an active social life. Basically, all the topics I previously vented about were no longer issues for me.

Instead of worrying about my future and feeling frustrated with my life, I was now happy and feeling content. I didn't see the connection between my lack of blogging and my new happiness until a reader pointed it out to me in a comment. At first I dismissed it, but after giving it some thought, I realized the reader was right.

At that point, I realized that I only knew how to write my story through the lens of negativity.

When I was upset, angry, hurt or frustrated, it was easy for me to let the feelings motivate me to share that story through my words and blog posts. But I had no experience in writing about the joy in my life and sharing my new feelings of happiness, peace and contentment. I worried that people would think that I was bragging or find my posts annoying.

Plus, I didn't think that anyone would be interested in reading about other parts of my life. But my biggest fear was that I'd somehow jinx myself and ruin my newfound happiness if I wrote about it.

The changes in my life showed me that I had to learn to share a different story if I wanted to continue blogging. When I started blogging so many years ago, it was with the goal of sharing a true story and realistic view of the life of a grad school. My writing motivation is to share an honest narrative of the life of a professional Black woman, determined to find her place in the world.

I now realize that I allowed blogging from a place of negativity to dominate my writing, and my blog posts have not painted an accurate depiction of my life. My story is not the doom and gloom that I painted for years, nor is it all sunshine and rainbows. I am a well-rounded person, with both peaks and valleys, and I want to share all of that with my readers.

With that in mind, I've given myself a challenge to write about topics that are new to me and present a more balanced view of my overall life. To my surprise, this new approach has been well received, and my blog traffic and comments reflect it.

I'm now in my 12th year of blogging, and I still find new challenges in sharing my story with the world. I'm now eager to share a wide range of experiences with my audience, and I'm learning different ways of telling that story in an engaging way.

I no longer see my blog as solely a place to share my worries – now I'm happy to share my triumphs, my travels or even things I love. I discovered a whole new side of blogging by simply shifting my thinking on what stories to share.

I'm sharing my story on Black Girl Unlost. Follow me on Twitter!

Source: It's Harder to Blog When Life is Good